(Trigger warning: Physical self-harm.)
Time and time again some friends would suggest to me (with good intention) that perhaps I shouldn’t have to pay a ludicrous amount of money for a psychotherapist, that perhaps I could just talk it out to trusted friends, and all would be better.
It’s kind of a bummer to keep hearing these things from the very people who deeply care about me, cause while they are just trying very hard to help, they just don’t understand.
And it’s not their fault either. Heck even I can’t explain it eloquently enough. When it hits, it hits, you know. I can be very aware of what’s happening to me yet at the same time immobilised to act against it. I can see the picture while being IN the picture. Some says it’s just in my head. Well, that’s THE WHOLE POINT. It’s in my head too much that sometimes, the only way to shut the voices is to cut myself. Grotesque, I know. But trust me, self-harm isn’t even the worst part of this whole thing.
And it’s not about the problems or the triggers either. I admit it more than anyone that whatever sadden me, are the most trivial things in the world. And I loathe myself every day because of it. If I were to look back at myself from a third-person point of view, I know these things don’t matter. 1-2 years down the road, I would even laugh it off. But right now I’m also living in this body, this soul, and the pain is as real as anything could ever be.
Hence why I need to seek a psychotherapist. These people are professionals. They are the experts of the human mind, labouring their asses off in colleges studying the subject, getting certifications. It’s a serious profession. These people saves lives. You wouldn’t ask your management consultant friend to do a root canal treatment, would you?
You would pay a personal trainer to instruct you at the gym, you would pay an English tutor to guide you through TESL, you would hire an insurance agent to take care of your personal finances. So why not a psychotherapist? For the sake of being sane?
So if you have anyone you know going through some sort of chemical imbalance in their brains, do them a favour. Be there for them, AND support them going through professional treatment. Help them function in the real world (for a lot of them, merely being able to function is more than enough).
Mental illness, you know, it’s legit.