The election has ended, and people’s hearts are broken. Evidences of cheating were circulated in social media. Though PR has won a lot of seats (more importantly, the hot ones), the winning margin was so small when compared to the last election. This, despite the awareness being so spread out now, despite more people have registered to vote than ever before.

A few commentators have highlighted a very interesting and eye-opening point about why PR lost. It wasn’t about racial disparity (of course), but socioeconomic. Hence the whole gerrymandering thingamajig (I still have trouble pronouncing it).

People on the rural areas weren’t as informed as their urban counterparts. Even if they were, they needed the governmental support much more that we did. What choices did they have? Who are we to call out on them for receiving money when it was money that they needed to feed themselves?

It also highlighted how self-congratulatory we could be. We lived in this small circle of friends, with other like-minded individuals agreeing on each other’s opinions, chanting each other’s battle cry. Then we felt good about it. We felt like the job was done, we were confident that the battle could be won this time around.

Then, poof, GE 13 results came out, and we had this “Duuuude, there’s actually a lot of poor people in Malaysia hor~~” revelation.

But we did have a revelation nevertheless. Revelation is a good thing. It could change the way we do things, it could shift our paradigm, it could make us a better person.

So what could we do next? For a start, let’s stop being ignorant about what’s happening in our country. This is actually a stern reminder to myself, because I used to think that politics was not my thing. But heck, it’s everybody’s thing. No matter who you are and what you do, it’s everybody’s responsibilities to choose their leader.

So educate yourself, your friends, and your families. Go back to hometown once in a while and have conversation with your orang kampung.

Then what could we do, beyond talking and sharing Facebook post? Contribute something to the society. If we empathize the poor, do everything in our power to help them. Volunteer at Soup Kitchen, spend time in an orphanage, plant some trees. It’s a small gesture, but it’s the first step towards care. Only by caring that we can lessen the gap between the rich and poor, between the haves and have-nots.

(Shameless plug: I work in a non-profit organization called Teach For Malaysia, where we strive to help kids from lower income families to get an excellent education – www.teachformalaysia.org)

Do whatever it is that you do best. If you are good at writing, share your opinions. If you are good at coding, develop apps that make people’s lives easier. If you are good at planning, bring people together.

Another post on Facebook (this FB status sharing thing is really effective huh) mentioned that change starts with us as an individual. If we demand fairness and justice from the country, practice fairness and justice in our daily life. If we demand unity and harmony, start being nice to our colleagues and neighbors. If we demand smoother traffics and better roads, start using public transportation. Just kidding on the last part. Or am I.

I’m gonna end this post with two words that was shared by my colleague, Melissa: incremental change. Often times we desire a live-turning event so much that we overlook the smaller ones. But it is the smaller ones that last longer.

So never underestimate the power of small. Change doesn’t happen every 4/5 years, it happens every single day.

We have faith.

After all that has happened yesterday, I hope we still care. I hope our interest in the well-being of the nation is not as seasonal as the World Cup. It does not begin and end during the election.

Educate ourselves on what’s happening in the country, and educate our friends and families. Be an informed citizen. Regardless of what we do and where we are, each and everyone of us carries this responsibility.

Contribute to society in any way that we can. There is a lot of things that needs doing. Education, poverty, health, media, arts. Do whatever it is that we do best.

Our battle still has a long way to go. Our battle is worth fighting another 10, 20 years more. Have faith, Malaysians.

For SPM, I only scored 2As while a non-Malay classmate of mine got 10As. I got offered two universities, she got none.

I kept silent because I feel ashamed that I have always got it easy. I knew that I can give half the effort my entire life and still be able to feed myself. And what have I done to deserve this special treatment? Absolutely nothing. My ancestors just happened to step into this land a few generations earlier.

But my friend, her father, and her father’s father have been here as long as I do. They work hard, they take care of their families, they pray to God. They are no different than me. They are us.

To have a law that treats a person based solely on the color of their skin, goes against everything that I have been taught, that I have believe in.

And I believe in justice.

Reading my previous entry makes me feel bleh, if bleh is an emotion you could use to describe how you were unimpressed. So I summarized my three-months stay in Teach For Malaysia by saying that I have grown in terms of time management, confidence, and at looking ahead.

Which are pretty much what I could say again three, six, twelve months down the road.

It was too general, too vague. It’s like reading your sign in the horoscope section thinking, “Oh this is sooo me!”, only to read all the other eleven signs which also sound so much like you.

Incremental growth is good. But to measure progress, I need something more concrete. Like that time when I finished my first e-book. That’s some sense of achievement. I need more of that, sense of achievement.

This morning I went for a school visit at SMK Setapak Tinggi with Sawittri. In the class, there was this one boy who looked at me with an immense amount of interest. After a moment of hesitation, he mustered up courage and step forward. He said to me, “Bang, you look like Michael Jackson.”

I should do school visit more often.

Stop, it’s hammer time!

I have never actually heard of that song.

Anyway, it’s reflection time! It has been three months since I have started working in Teach For Malaysia. It feels short yet a lot of things have happened. A lot of meaningful human connections have been formed, for which I am ever so grateful.

Being involved in a non-profit organisation is a good choice to build character. I am in an environment that consistently reminds myself to think more about the unfortunate, and less on morbid self-attention.

(Of course, I can’t change the world if I don’t change myself first. Moderation is the key.)

In terms of growth, I have particularly improved on time management, confidence, and looking ahead. Time management have always been a big issue that I deeply worries about, and now learning to take it easier on myself. Currently I’m using the management matrix to plan my work by the week. Methods might come and go, but I take comfort in knowing that there is no one ‘true’ method, and it will keep changing to suit the moment. As long as I get my work done.

As for confidence, it might be an age thing, something that is acquired through time. Despite being  surrounded by amazing people, I have never been surer of my own unique qualities, and more importantly, what I want out of life, work, and relationships.

Which brings me to the third point, looking ahead. I grasp a better sense of time, space, and direction. I can look further.

Grateful.

This is someone else’s dreams that I don’t mind being part of, for now. I still haven’t forgotten mine. Hopefully the many months to come will be a journey that brings me closer towards it.

Insya-Allah.