I might have told you that I’m leaving in about a month or so. What I haven’t told you is that during the past seven and a half years of my career, I have changed over five different organisations (not including a one-time P.A. job at the UN, three-month part time gig at Starbucks, and a two-week stint as a magician’s assistant – in which I had to be a pair of legs).
“Why are you such a slut?” You might say. Hey, come on now, no slut shaming here. A person who decides to have many casual sexual partners might have their own reason to do so, do empathize.
What are we talking about again.
Oh ya, career-hopping. Before the agency, the reason why I jumped through so many places was because of the stifled growth. I tried so long and so hard to make it as a technical person – I was a programmer then sysadmin then one-leg-kick-all IT macai – but did not succeed. I didn’t regret my time in any of those places as I managed to meet countless amazing individuals (in YouthAsia, Groupon, even JomSocial; but ESPECIALLY Teach For Malaysia where the amount of intense and overachieving young professionals over there made me feel that I wasn’t the smartest one in the room for a change).
While I did grew so much emotionally, intellectually and spiritually (due to the people), my career was stuck in a rut, and that was detrimental to my happiness. It was quite pathetic to acknowledge that my job defined almost the entirety of my self-worth, but I was what I was.
Don’t get me wrong (<— haha I hate this cliché, let’s kill it, kill it with fire), I do take pride in what I did, still. My technical game was strong, but they were so niche yet so wide apart that they never really fit into a job scope.
Enter the agency, where I made the overdue decision of shifting into the creative line, and it has been immensely rewarding ever since. For once, I enjoyed what I did AND was good at AND contributed to the organisation. For once, all these emotional intensity was channelled into something productive (unlike in IT where the only emotional release was directed towards me during connection outage, to the point where I grew alerted at every shout of “INTERNET!” that I almost thought that that was my middle name – Muhammad Internet Khairul).
For once, I felt like I have a voice, my voice. I could be new, unpolished, and grammatically flawed in this industry but my voice is my voice, and you could never find anything like it elsewhere. (Not you Dani but the rhetorical you.)
Not to mention, being a Creative already fits my long-practised Bohemian lifestyle! No longer I have to feel guilty of watching too many shows, playing too many video games, or reading too many comic books because they all ended back into the creative pot.
Hence why with all regrets, I have to end my journey here in the agency, mostly just because of money. There is A LOT to like about this place – the people, the culture, even the accounts (yes, I do love my accounts and my clients, a luxury many people could only wish for as they lay awake at 3 dreading Mondays) – but not the cashflow/financial management fuckups.
I wish I could have stayed longer. There is much to give to this place. Do you know how low-maintenance and self-sufficient I am, being able to work with none to minimal guidance or supervision? Do you know how excellent my analytical thinking is? Do you know how I have all these extra skills and actual experiences (SEO, media buying, online marketing) that could save your staff a lot of hours figuring things out from cluelessness? I guess you don’t cause you could only see my slight delay in delivery and lack of self-organisation, and that the accounts I’m in aren’t sexy enough to warrant deserving attention. (Again, not you as in Dani.)
Ninja edit: Speaking of self-sufficiency, it’s a crying shame that I had to fight for what I deserve all by myself just because no senior was assigned to me, while other people always have someone backing them up. What was the deal with that, man.
But hey, it is what it is. Since I’m not really helping some kids somewhere get better education and instead merely making people buy more, I might as well get some extrinsic motivation. The game is the game.
It has been a very pleasant journey – especially with my fellow team of a Suit and designers – that has come to an end. For that I say so long, and thanks for all the fish!
P/S: I have never actually finished HG2G but I’ve been known to recycle pop culture references to score cool points. Forgive me for I am a mere poser.
P/S: Except for The Wire. I finished the entire five seasons and it is the greatest TV show of all time, next to it being Louie and RuPaul’s Drag Race.